


Low Drunken Places

by Jacinta



Series: Bruce's Padded Room [1]
Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: A little shippy, But mostly drunk!Tony, Other, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-12
Updated: 2012-11-13
Packaged: 2017-11-18 12:23:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/561042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jacinta/pseuds/Jacinta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony is drunk, Steve and Bruce find him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Event

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic that I've posted anywhere. Thus feedback would be amazing beyond belief.  
> And obviously I own none of the characters.

_"...take that and what are you?"_  
 _"Who do you think filed the injunction?"_  
 _"I know men with none of that worth ten of you"_  
 _"They want you to build a Jericho missile"_  
 _"What is this piece of crap?"_

  
"Shut up!" Tony yelled, throwing his empty glass across the room and watching the glass rain down on the floor. Voices from his past that have no place in his head. Tony knows this but it doesn't help. The memories fly past. They are blurry, disjointed, incomplete but the barbs still leave pain behind.

_"Merchant of death"_  
 _"How are you so shallow?"_  
 _"I hope you burn in hell."_

Tony sobbed pitifully as he crawled across the room to the bar for another bottle. Someone, probably Steve or Bruce, started banging on the closed door just before he yelled at his memories.  
"Tony! Please just talk to us, or let us see you?" Steve yelled, Bruce was probably next to him trying not to be angry. Tony laughed, and laughed loud. Why should they care? Even the Avengers had said things, things that were true.  
"Iron Man, recommended. Tony Stark, not recommended"  
"Tony if you don't open the door I'm going to break it down." Steve yelled again. Seconds later there was a thud. Tony scrambled for the closest thing to a weapon, right now he just wanted to be alone. To drown the voices in his head and maybe himself along the way.  
   
The door fell inwards just after Tony had hauled himself to his feet. Steve instantly shielded Bruce because Tony was pointing a gun at them and he was swaying.  
"Get out of my rooms." he was slurring so badly it hardly made sense.  
"Tony. Put down the gun." Bruce said in that too-calm voice you use on crazy people.  
"I'm not crazy you know. I'm many things but I am of sound mind. Well, maybe a little drunk." he laughed at Steve's face which bordered between panic and horror with fear and forced calm covering it. "What's wrong Captain perfect? Never seen a drunk person? Or is it you've never been threatened by a colleague?"  
"Neither." Steve gasped. "Flashback."  
"Steve?" Bruce asked quietly.  
"Howard." Tony snarled viciously at the mention of his dad.  
"He should have shot himself." Tony shouted. "Would have been better that way. Mister perfect could have actually died a good man! Captain perfect wouldn't have to deal with his stupid, annoying, insensitive, shallow son who has more blood on his hands than the Hulk!"  
"You can't know that Tony" Bruce said which made Tony laugh again.  
"I can. I dealt weapons, under the table to the enemy too. But there's one persons blood that the hulk can't manage! Oh no! I have my own blood on my hands! The shrapnel in my chest has my name on it, the scars are not all from baddies!"  
Steve looked horrified and Bruce simply resigned.  
"Tony, please. Give me the gun. You aren't going to shoot us, you don't want more blood on your hands."  
"Your wrong. I just want someone to know how fucked I am, give a bit of warning." Tony waved the gun around and snagged a new bottle which he took a large gulp from. In doing so his long sleeves rode up and Bruce gasped.  
"What?" Tony slurred.  
"Tony, show me your arms." Bruce was still using that careful voice.  
"Stop talking to me like I'm crazy or dangerous. Insult me! Tell me what you really think!" Tony practically screamed at them, this wasn't his badly controlled breakdown like when he was dying. This was so much worse.  
"Fine. You want to know what I think of you now?" Bruce sounded angry "I want to get the gun out of your hand, make you drop the bottle and the handcuff you to me so this needn't happen again. I think you're not coping with the break up with Pepper. I think your chasing the thoughts around and around in your own head until something gives. How am I doing so far?"  
"Good." Tony sobbed folding in on himself while keeping the gun on Steve. "The memories, do you know how many times I've been told I'm pathetic? Not even counting people trying to kill me, actually they tend to be nicer."  
  
 _"...the great Tony Stark..."_  
 _"Incredibly skilled"_  
 _"Marvel of technology"_  
  
"Funny that."Tony whispered and turned the gun so it rested on his temple. "I can't tell if it's sad that they feel that sorry for me or if they're hoping I won't call backup. What do you think Cap?"  
"Or maybe they are just telling it as it seems."  
"Now why would they do that? Why wouldn't other people? No. I'm pathetic. But you know what Bruce? I can have blood on my hands that you'll never manage-" Bruce squatted, resting his arms on his knees.  
"About that. Show me your arms Tony. Show me this blood you speak of." Steve looked at him like he'd lost his mind but it worked. Tony rolled one sleeve up with the gun, revealing a crisscross pattern of cuts. Then he rolled up the other sleeve which was the same. Steve had thought he was wearing a reddish brown shirt, now he realizes it was blood that had stained the white shirt from yesterday. The fight left him and he sat on the floor and buried his face in his hands.  
"Fuck I made Captain Perfect cry!" Ton was yelling again, with the gun back at his temple. "Don't you see? I'm poison. You should kill me because I'm not sure I'm drunk enough to have the courage." Which was funny because as far as he could tell he was pretty fucking drunk, then again he was a coward.  
"Fine. Tony, you want us to? Why should we? You supply our weapons and armor in battle, if we wanted to be rid of you we'd lock you in your lab."  
"So why don't you?"  
"Because we don't want to be rid of you. We want you to watch movies with us, fight alongside us, occasionally argue with us. Clint wants you to play pranks with him, Steve wants you to sit still long enough o be drawn, I want a lab partner who doesn't want to study me or hand me to the government. Natasha wants you to take her with you on business trips, god knows why, Thor wants a drinking buddie, Fury wants his heaviest hitter, Coulson wants you to occasionally exasperate him. Hill wants you because you keep SHIELD interesting, Pepper wants you because she loves you too much, hell, the world wants you because without you it would have been destroyed several times. You say you have blood on your hands? You've saved more people than you'll ever maim or kill. And you didn't fire the weapons or double deal. Tony, the team needs you. The world needs you." Steve was nodding along with him.  
"Well. I'm entirely too drunk to process that. Do you love me? I don't care if you value me, but do you love me?"  
"Yes. Tony, I love you." Bruce said quietly.  
"I love you too" the words felt - and sounded- strange "you, the Avengers, you're all the friends I have. I wish I had have lived to watch you grow up, maybe if I hadn't died Howard would have focused on you more. If not I could have been there for you." Steve was almost whispering.  
"Bruce. Kiss me."  
"Not until you give Steve the gun." Tony pouted but lowered the gun and stared at it. He could kill himself. He knew that the one promised kiss wouldn't fix things, this wasn't a Disney film. However Tony wanted this, anything, connection. Slowly he stretched out his gun hand and placed the gun on the ground, still holding it tight. He could always do this later, he was a genius, he could find a way. Hesitantly he let his hand slide off the gun before bring it back to wrap around himself.  
"Good. Thank you Tony." Bruce sighed as Steve took the gun, turned the safety on and sprung up to place it just out of the broken door. They watched as he came back, Tony through vision fuzzy from blood loss and alcohol, and clouded by tears.  
   
Bruce shuffled forward until he was kneeling beside Tony, their sides pressed together. With one hand on his chin and the other around his waist Bruce turned his face and kissed him, ignoring Tony's broken sobs. He kept it fairly chaste, nothing the man could the him for in the morning when he was sober. Steve knelt on the other side and kissed his temple.  
   
"Steve, could you carry Tony to the spare room on my floor?" Bruce whispered. Steve nodded and after some gentle fumbling had Tony in his arms, arms semi-trapped against his chest.  
"C'mon Tony. Bruce wants to check your injuries." Steve rose and followed Bruce out the ex-doorway and into the elevator, then past his lab and into spare room. The room had three beds and two very comfortable chairs, the walls were padded and the beds had restraints attached. Steve suspected they'd be able to hold him or Thor if it came to that. There was a cupboard with no visible handle, JARVIS probably controlled it so it would only open for Bruce.  
"Middle bed. Can you stay to hold him down?" Steve nodded and gently lay Tony on the middle bed. Bruce disappeared into the cupboard (which was actually a small room) and came out wheeling a trolley. Tony started to fight when Bruce moved his leg, trying to wrap the gentle restraints around his ankle. Eventually they got both ankles secured, but not before Steve got kneed in the balls and Bruce got kicked in the face.  
   
Then Bruce moved up and showed Steve where to hold the still struggling Tony without hurting him so he could treat the cuts. Quickly he cut Tony's shirt off.  
"Believe it or not we are helping you and if you don't stop fighting us I will sedate you." It was an empty threat, working on a limp Tony was no better than a screaming and crying Tony at the moment. Thank god each floor was sound-proofed otherwise Tasha and Clint would be up here wondering who was dying. Tony stopped screaming in favor of muttering curses under his breath. Well that was something.  
   
Bruce started to clean Tony's chest and arms with warm water so he could see past the blood to the damage. Thankfully it wasn't too bad, nothing needed stitches. The biggest problem was the sheer amount. Most of the area between neck and waist was a fine criss-cross pattern with a few extra lines. It was bad, and it would have taken a long time, clearly this had started yesterday if not before. Shaking his head Bruce began to dab at them with a sterilizer, just to be safe, he didn't want to risk anything. Tony whimpered through this and only screamed at him when he had to touch the ones around the arc reactor. Steve's face was practically stuck in a wince of sympathy. Next step was going to be difficult. He wanted to bandage Tony's arms and chest.  
"Tony, I need you to work with me for his bit okay? I'm going to bandage your arm and I need you to not fight me." Tony blinked at him blearily.  
"What will you do for me?"  
"What do you want?"  
"Kiss me. Fuck me."  
"I'll kiss you and if you feel the same tomorrow we'll talk about it." Tony thought about it and apparently agreed because he lifted the arm that Steve wasn't holding down. Bruce held his hand as he began to wind the gauze around his arm. Tony was obviously tiring, the fight had drained him leaving him compliant and switching between staring at Steve or Bruce. Once Bruce finished he buckled Tony's wrist into the restraints. He'd had the walls padded and the bed made when he realized how many issues they all had. Someone was going to snap eventually and he was determined to be ready, something he was really grateful for now. While being strapped to a bed would remind some of them of times better forgotten it was the safest option.  
   
When Bruce was finished wrapping Tony's chest and arms he leant down and kissed Tony again. Straightening he stroked Tony's hair.  
"Steve, will you wait here while I fetch food so we can stay with him continuously."  
"Sure. Want me to come back in six hours so you can get some sleep?"  
"Make it eight, let yourself get a good sleep. I have a book and a project, me and JARVIS will start arranging things for Tony." Bruce waited for Steve to nod then left to collect everything he'd need for eight hours. When he returned Tony was asleep. Perhaps they, all the Avengers with their assorted issues and sharp edges, could help each other.


	2. Report to Fury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and Bruce must report the events at Avengers Tower to Director Fury, Maria Hill and Phil Coulson.

Steve, Bruce, Fury, Coulson and Hill were seated at a conference table, as normal Coulson was carefully black-faced, Hill and Fury looked like they were extremely done with all the Avengers and the problems, Steve and Bruce squirmed awkwardly. Basically no one wanted to be there which was normal. Steve and Bruce kept their eyes glued to the table, as though it's shiny surface could make this go faster.  
"Rogers, Banner, tell me everything that's happened with Stark this past three weeks." Fury barked impatiently. 

Sighing Bruce began. "First you should know that JARVIS has a subroutine where myself and Steve are called to Tony's quarters if he is in danger. Thankfully the definition of danger is very loose and JARVIS could justify it as Tony being in danger of passing out from alcohol poisoning. That's why we were called, well why someone was called. JARVIS calls whoever is highest on the list and can assist."

"Is this Tony's programming?"

"Yes. Before the Avengers JARVIS could call Pepper, Rhodey or a doctor if he was unconscious. Since the Avengers we've talked him into calling when in danger. I think I'm first on the list followed by Steve, Natasha, Clint then Thor."

"So you were called."

"Yes sir." Steve continued. "When we came to his door we heard glass shatter and him yell 'Shut up'. JARVIS assured us that there was no one threatening him and that he was alone. I assumed an intruder as it's not the first time, and someone is going to try and kidnap and/or kill Tony again. Satisfied I then asked him to open the door, to which he laughed."

"After a bit more shouting Steve broke the door down and I followed him in. Then I uh. I froze."

"Why did you freeze Dr Banner?" Coulson inquired. 

"He was pointing a gun at us and I really don't like guns, usually doesn't end well for everyone else."

"You recovered quickly." Steve smiled grimly at him.

"So what happened?" Fury prodded after a moment of pen tapping.

"I told him to put the gun down. I used a calm voice that appeared to offend him. The voice was mostly for my benefit, but he yelled that he wasn't crazy. That he was drunk but of sound mind. Then he taunted Steve a bit." Bruce trailed off.

"Seeing him drunk with a gun which he was pointing at me was an eerily familiar image. I didn't really hear Bruce and Tony for a moment. I. I had a flashback to his dad, apparently he and Bucky had been friends and when Bucky died Howard got drunk and tried to kill himself." Steve bit his lip to stop his chin quivering. "I tried to talk him down but I ended up having to force the gun out of his hand. I got Maria to look after him."

"He mentioned Howard's name and Tony started yelling how Howard should have killed himself. If he had then 'Captain perfect wouldn't have to deal with his stupid, annoying, insensitive, shallow son who has more blood on his hands than the Hulk' were the words I think he used." Bruce chuckled darkly "I argued that he couldn't have more blood on his hands... But you can't argue with a drunk and suicidal Tony, or any Tony or drunk and suicidal person really. He started talking about how he had his own blood on his hands and gesturing at the arc reactor."

"You asked for the gun again." Steve said, trying to rush this. "You said he wouldn't hurt us. He said he would, he just wanted to give warning. That's when Tony grabbed a bottle and took a drink. He had bloodstains on his arms." Both of them rubbed their faces.

"Bloodstains?" Hill asked quietly.

"Bloodstains. I asked to see his arms and he got mad at me. Demanded I get mad at him, tell him what I really think. I'm afraid I lost control a bit there." Bruce looked at the table like it might hide him from non-existent judgment. No one judged because there was no 'other guy', if he doesn't appear then Bruce hasn't lost control... Fully.

"Quite impressively if I may say so. Scared me."

"Thanks." Bruce grimaced and made no move to elaborate.

"Bruce said that he wanted Tony to put down the gun and handcuff Tony to himself so this could never happen again. He said that Tony wasn't coping with the break up between him and Pepper. That he was chasing thoughts around his head until something gave."

"Tony said I was correct and kind of crumpled to the floor, still with the gun on us. He started talking about memories and how pathetic he is. The he mentioned that people trying to kill him were usually nicer than others. His two reasons were they either felt sorry for him or hoped he'd get a big head and try to take them alone. Hate to say it but people have tried that."

"Then I said maybe they were just telling things as they were. He confirmed patheticness and turned to Bruce and went back to the 'I can kill myself and you can't' argument. Or was that taunting?" Steve shrugged. "Bruce sat down then and asked to see his arms, the blood. I can't believe that worked by the way." 

"It worked because he was proud of it. Tony pushed his sleeves up so we could see. Both arms had long diagonal lines and his shirt was actually stained through, fairly recent because it hadn't crusted much. Steve joined us on the floor-"

"-Don't mince words. I all but collapsed." Steve interrupted with a chuckle. "I was crying. I hadn't realised he was still wearing the white shirt we'd last seen him in. I thought he'd changed but it was all blood. Tony yelled about making me cry and how he was poison. He said we should kill him because he wasn't drunk enough to."

"I don't think he could have been more drunk and conscious." Fury snorted and Coulson almost smiled. 

"Then Bruce used the strangest argument to get Tony to put down the gun in exchange for a kiss. I'll never understand it."

"Banner? What did you say." Fury asked, sounding very disapproving. Or at least more than usual, he always sounds a little grumpy.

"I asked him why we should kill him when he provides so much for us. If we didn't want him around we could just lock him in the workshop." Coulson raised and eyebrow. "Naturally he asked why we don't. So I told him that we want him to hang around, watch movies, fidget, yell and provoke. I gave a reason why we all wanted him, making sure that it wasn't about him being wonderful, just him. Like how you" he gestured at Steve "want to draw him but he never sit still enough for an outline. How I want a lab partner who isn't terrified of me. How you" gesture at Coulson "like how he keeps your job ...exciting. And Hill likes that he always hacks SHIELD just to annoy Fury. Or how you" Hand wave at Fury "like having him as a heavy hitter."

"Why? That doesn't seem typical anti-suicide talk." Hill demanded. "It goes against all regulations."

"You're right. The normal spiel is crap. I was talking as someone who's been there. At that stage for someone that smart and fundamentally good the best thing to do is show they are needed. Being loved and brilliant isn't anything, being amazing is normal. Being needed despite flaws is something we could work with, and often something people don't ever confirm. I doubt anyone had ever told him that they needed him, sincerely at least. No one bothers to look at any qualities other than the brain, and it hurts."

"How did you know what to say?" Hill asked reaching out to place a hand on Bruce's.

"I." Bruce licked his lips. "I talked him down how I've talked myself down before. Just with less other guy and mass killing prevention. Same concepts." There was a moment of silence before Bruce continued. "Some of it clearly got past the alcohol to his brain because he asked if I loved him. I had miscalculated, forgotten about Pepper for a moment. I got a little distracted, but I forgot that this breakdown was mostly because Pepper broke up with him. I. I told him I loved him."

"I told him the Avengers were all the family and friends I had." Steve supplied, but he was ignored now as he was when he first said it.

"He asked me to kiss him and I told him to give Steve the gun. He took a while to put it down and another minute to take his hand away. Steve quickly got the gun."

"I turned the safety on and moved it away."

"While I kissed him chastely. No tongue. I didn't want him to hate me in the morning, but I didn't want to make him angrier. Then Steve picked him up and we went to the spare room on my floor."

"I never asked when and why was it padded?"

"Out of all of us Thor has the least issues, and he has heaps. I figured it was a matter of time before someone snapped and Tony gave me a huge budget for my rooms when I moved in, so I made a room ready for that moment."

"Oh that's cool." Fury cleared his throat impatiently "Anyway I had to hold him down while Bruce restrained his ankles. Tony had fallen quiet after the kiss, just silent tears but now he started thrashing and screaming at us."

"Good thing the whole room is soundproofed. Otherwise the other two would have been barging in. I think that's the very last thing he'd have wanted."

"Is there anything you didn't think of?"

"A one-way window." Steve grinned at him.

"Huh. Bruce cut Tony's shirt off and his whole chest and both arms were just covered in cuts. It was horrible. So much blood too." Steve ducked his head.

"Due to the quantity I couldn't tell if they were all new or of some were a bit older, not that it really mattered. I washed the blood off with warm water before applying a sterilizer and a gentle salve. When I reached the reactor he went quieter, whimpering mostly. I got him to let me put bandages on-

"You didn't need to, he was restrained. You could have just put them on anyway." Hill said.

"I wanted to see if he'd help me instead of just not futilely struggle. There is a difference. He bargained for another kiss but he was pretty good. By the time I finished he was mostly asleep so I kissed him on the forehead and buckled his wrists into restraints. Then I left Steve to get a book, food and water."

 

"Bruce and I have been switching on and off in eight hour shifts so he's never alone. It was six days until we felt he wouldn't try something in the shower despite JARVIS' watchful eyes. We've let him play with holograms. Hopefully he might be able to go down to his workshop supervised soon. I don't know, Bruce is in charge here."

"I'm hoping that next week he can spend most of the day in the workshop. We're counseling him, sending him to a professional won't help as he's been brought up to not talk to people like that. It's hard enough getting him to talk at all, sending him to a SHIELD person would make it impossible. Despite that I think we're doing well, I think he isn't actively suicidal anymore."

"So I can clear him for duty?" Fury demanded.

"No. Just because he isn't trying to kill himself doesn't mean he wouldn't let himself die if he can. Battle is s perfect way for him to kill himself and none of us would know if it was suicide or just over-powered."

"Fine. What is your relationship with him?" To his credit Bruce didn't flinch.

"Platonic still. He wants more though I've refused until we agree he is better. Then we might discuss it."

"And you Rogers? We have heard rumors."

"They are just that. Rumors Sir." Steve said tightly.

"Well that seems to be everything. Coulson, Hill, any questions?" both agents shook their heads.

"Though I would like to mention that if you want help watching Tony I can help." Coulson smiled. "He's annoying as all hell but he really grows on you. I like the guy and you were right, he does make this job more interesting." Bruce nodded.

"Come over for dinner sometime maybe? We can arrange it all then." Steve said.

"Thank you gentlemen for sharing this. If we can help, call Maria and she'll organize it. I don't want to see Stark die." Fury got up and stalked out. The meeting was over and everyone was confident that Tony was in the good and capable hands of Dr Banner. Except said Dr Banner of course but he was never sure of his capable hands.


End file.
